I am in love with my math teacher?

Hello my name is joseph montanez and i think my math teacher is gorgeous. I purposely do my math homework in hopes that she will kiss me on my face, but usually just says, good job joseph. I think when she says this she is implying that she likes my fat body. I think that even though she has kids and a paralyzed husband, she still loves me more than anything else. One time she bumped her butt into my face by accident and i got hard. I dont think this was an accident though, she was probably implying that she wants me. One time i kissed her and she didnt even care, all she said was get your fat ugly face away from me. She obviously would have said something if she didnt love it. One time i touched her butt and she giggled, and then i was in my underwear and i realized it was a dream but i tend to have dreams that predict things, such as obama being unfit for presidency. She used to be a chearleader 25 years ago and has a nice body. She teaches like an angel but all i can do is stare at her chest. The other boys call me a pervert but i am being mature like when my mommy and daddy make babies, and then the babies are cut open from the moms stomache. I wanted to be a bad boy for her so i got iss today just to show her im no goody two shoes, if you know what i mean. Theres a kid named Jacob Swygert who bothers me and i think if i tell on him she will want me more. I told her i think she is hot and she just went on telling me that i need to listen in class, not draw portraits of her. I have told my parents i want to marry her and they said ok but her parents must pay for the wedding. I already picked her out a ring at Kay because since i bought her one at kay she will kiss me on my lips, cause you know, "Every kiss begins with kay". I need a plan to make her dump her parapalegic husband, and sell her children. I think i might just kill her husband and call child protective services so they take away her children. So now that she is sad and depressed i will say im sorry, i can love you more than your husband ever did. And she will so aww thats so sweet joseph. And i show her my wedding ring i bought at kay and she will kiss me on my face and then we will get married and go to mexico for our honeymoon. After the honeymoon we will find out that since we kissed so much she is pregnant. Then the baby will be delivered in 3-4 days by a stork and we can eat the baby for lunch the next day. Then we can go to jail together and kiss all we want. Then we will get out of jail and she will tell me that she loves my fat, hunky body. Then i will touch her boobs and she will love it. How can i make this plan work? It is genious without any flaws. Now tell me, Joseph Montanez, how i can get my math teacher to date me, and end up marrying me. You must tell me. Tell me now.